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The Funny Horoscope Is Here: How Are You Celebrating Valentine’s Day, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

The funny 2021 Horoscope is here! Let’s see what you’re doing for Valentine’s Day and what special gift you will receive from your significant other!

1. Aries

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Aries

This year, on Valentine’s Day, you are having a drink with your friends. You’ve celebrated your love plenty in the past year by spending every single second of every single day with your significant other. You deserve this day.

The love of your life will give you: a lecture on the effects of alcohol.

2. Taurus

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Taurus

This year, on Valentine’s Day, you are going on a date in the living room, where the TV is. Your date? Whoever is presenting the news. Your waiter? Whoever gets up first and brings you something from the fridge. 

The love of your life will give you: the remote, to watch whatever you want.

3. Gemini

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Gemini

This year, you are spending Valentine’s Day in bed, which is good because you’re great in bed! Everyone knows you could sleep all-day. You also go on a romantic date, but it turns out to be a dream during your second nap.

The love of your life will give you: their half of the blanket.

4. Cancer

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Cancer

This year, you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day by watching romantic Christmas movies and sobbing because your spouse won’t let you watch any movies starring Jason Momoa or Ryan Gosling. 

The love of your life will give you: chocolate and tissues.

5. Leo

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Leo

This year, you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day by eating cookies while watching murder documentaries. When your spouse enters the room, you make remarks like: “that’s a brilliant way to get rid of a body!” or “I would have never gotten caught” to remind them that love is not a joke.

The love of your life will give you: space to do whatever you want while they clean the house and wash the dishes.

6. Virgo

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Virgo

This year, you’ll spend Valentine’s Day writing in your diary. Whenever your spouse enters the room, you’ll read out loud things like: “Dear diary, my friend Camilla got a diamond necklace on Valentine’s Day, and all I got was a $2 card” to make sure you get a nice gift on Women’s Day.

The love of your life will give you: several reasons to complain about them in your diary.

7. Libra

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Libra

This year, you and your significant other will spend Valentine’s Day breakdancing in your pajamas. The neighbors would complain about the loud music, but they don’t dare because of all the screaming, breaking, and crashing.

The love of your life will give you: a kiss because they’re too poor to buy you something else.

8. Scorpio

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Scorpio

This year, you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day with a romantic dinner on the balcony. It will be a little cold because it’s still winter, but you’ll warm up with pizza, wine, and a heated argument on how often should Moms visit their adult children.

The love of your life will give you: their dessert because they completely forgot to buy you a gift.

9. Sagittarius

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Sagittarius

This year, for Valentine’s Day, you are going on a romantic trip to your mother in law’s house. It will be great. Just great.

The love of your life will give you: a diamond ring, gold earrings, and a ruby bracelet that still won’t make up for this trip.

10. Capricorn

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Capricorn

This year, for Valentine’s Day, you and your love are drinking all the red wine in the house. Then, as you run out, you drop by your neighbor’s house and drink up theirs, too. 

The love of your life will give you: their very funny presence and a fine selection of inappropriate jokes.

11. Aquarius

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Aquarius

This year, for Valentine’s Day, you and your love will each be eating an XXL pizza in bed. To make things interesting, you turn it into a pizza-eating contest. You win!

The love of your life will give you: the gift of their loud snoring.

12. Pisces

Funny Horoscope Joke Zodiac Love Life In 2021 Pisces

This year, for Valentine’s Day, you celebrate by not getting into a fight with your significant other. You don’t have to buy them a present, because they have gotten everything they ever wanted the day they married you. 

To show their appreciation, the love of your life will give you: a six-pack of beer they actually bought for themselves.

If you enjoyed this funny article, check out some more awesome jokes and hilarious stories here.

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