20 Random Fun Facts I’ve Learned About Wine

Here’s my list of funny facts about wine. Enjoy them with your favorite drink!

To me, wine is like that best friend who gives me a warm, delicious hug after a long day. Wine is my best buddy. We clean together, watch movies together, and sometimes even work together. This year we’ve even attended some work meetings together (Thank God for Remote Working).

We went through a long quarantine together. How long, you ask? Who knows? I had wine! Red, white, rose… I love them all. And I just realized it’s November, so it’s the perfect time for mulled wine! Here are some fun facts I’ve learned about wine. If you’re expecting a list of serious facts, like history, chemistry, or geography, this is not it. Maybe another day, when I haven’t had wine for breakfast.

1. One glass of wine per day reduces the risk of heart disease. Three and more glasses of wine per day reduce the risk of giving a s**t.

2. It’s pretty hard to drink 8 glasses of water per day, but 8 glasses of wine can be done in one meal.

3. You can’t touch your face if you’re holding a glass of wine in each hand.

You can't touch your face if you keep a glass of wine in each hand.

4. If you’re going to drink a bottle of good wine, you must first allow it to breathe. If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, you might have to give it mouth-to-mouth.

5. If you blow in the wine in your coffee mug, everyone else in the Zoom meeting will believe it’s tea.

6. In times like these, it’s recommended we clean with alcohol. I’ve tried it with wine, and it doesn’t work. After a couple of glasses, I completely forgot what I was doing.

7. My cooking book said to add ‘leftover wine,’ but I have no idea what that is and where to find it.

8. I found that if you run out of coffee, red wine makes a suitable replacement.

9. An entire bottle of wine can fit in a Starbucks Trenta cup.

10. I think they should put more wine in a bottle, so there’s enough for two people.

11. It’s not drinking alone if your dog is there.

12. Sometimes, when you feel hungry, you might just be thirsty. Drink a glass of wine and see how you feel.

13. The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.

14. You should always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know, like Wednesday.

15. Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They only care if you have wine.

16. If you’re seeing double after drinking a few glasses of wine, simply close one eye.

17. There is a time and place for non-alcoholic wine. Never, and in the trash.

18. If you give up wine, you won’t live longer, but it will definitely feel longer.

19. They say laughter is the best medicine, but I’m pretty sure it’s wine.

20. We need coffee to change the things we can. And wine to accept those we cannot.

If you enjoyed this funny article, check out some more awesome jokes and hilarious stories here.

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