10 Wishes You Should NOT Make On New Year’s Eve

10 Wishes You Should NOT Make On New Year's Eve

Be careful what you wish for!

Dear Bouncy Mustard friends, this isn’t me taking responsibility for everything that happened in 2020, but I’ll admit it. Some of my NYE wishes have come true this year. I can still remember it clearly. 

It was midnight, the last seconds of 2019. I thought to myself: “Wow, 2019 was one of the best years of my life. I know 2020 can’t be as good, but at least…” – and here comes the part where I made my New Year’s Eve wishes:

… at least, I’d like to spend more time with my husband.
… I wish I didn’t have to go to work, or at least to work from home more.
… I wish I have more time to just stay at home and relax.

They all came true, and not just for me! But this is not what I meant, you guys! When I said ‘more time with my husband,’ I meant like.. a week, or maybe two. Not an entire year! When I said ‘I wish I didn’t have to go to work,’ I didn’t mean ever! Anyway, we all know how things turned out.

2020 is proof that New Year’s Eve wishes do come true, so please be very careful this time. Here’s a short guide for you, please make sure everyone reads it. We can’t risk another year like this one.

This year, on New Year’s Eve, be very careful what you wish for. Listen to me! If you make a wish to spend more time outside, we’ll all end up being homeless! So, here’s what you shouldn’t wish for.

The following wishes are strictly forbidden:

1. Wishes about staying at home and doing nothing.

If you’re tired and need some time to ‘stay at home and do nothing’, just take a day off. 

2. Wishes about having more time for yourself.

No, no, no. We don’t need time for ourselves. We need jobs, busy schedules, birthday parties, and weddings!

3. Wishes about bars, salons, or malls closing.

I don’t care if your husband spends too much time at the bar. I don’t care if you’re sick of your wife dragging you to the mall every weekend. No wishes about closing anything!

4. Wishes about spending more time with your family.

This was just mean. A very mean wish. Ask all the parents who had to work from home while homeschooling their kids in 2020. 

5. Wishes about spouses spending less money at bars, salons, or malls.

In 2020, we’ve spent a lot less money at bars, salons, or malls. Husbands no longer wasted their paycheck on beers. Wives no longer wasted money on things they didn’t really need. Instead, we’ve all stayed home. The entire year. With each other. Always remember this.

6. Wishes about not having to go to work.

OMG, this was our fault, for not being clear enough. The whole wish was ‘Be a billionaire, so I didn’t have to go to work’, but we left out some words! Next time, just wish for the first part!

7. Wishes about spending more time outside.

I know we’ve spent a lot of time inside this year, but don’t you dare wish for the opposite, because we’ll all end up living on the streets!

8. Wishes about your spouse spending more time at home.

I’m pretty sure no one else will make this wish, ever again. But I’m writing it here, just in case. No. No. No. 

9. Wishes about not having to see some people that often.

You’re not that big of a fan of your in-laws? You are sick of a certain coworker?  You hate it that your husband’s friend drops by your house every weekend? Don’t you dare make a wish about this!

10. Wishes about this year being special.

Oh, we don’t need another special year. No, no! We need a boring year, the old-style, usual kind. 

Okay, but what wishes can we make, then?

This year, I’m not going to take any chances. So, I’m not going to make any wish. And I’ll just be grateful for surviving 2020, being healthy and happy with my husband. I’ll be thankful, as things could’ve been worse, but they weren’t. However, if you must make a wish, wish for money like everyone else!

If you enjoyed this funny article, check out some more awesome jokes and hilarious stories here.

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