Here are 10 useful wedding planning tips for the future bride and groom.
You’ve recently said ‘yes’ and have just started planning the most important event in your life? Congrats! While most wedding planning sites will give you a bunch of expensive ideas regarding decorations, the dress, or the cake, I’ve put together a list of actually useful tips for your wedding day.
1. Here’s my first wedding planning tip: keep in mind that it’s just a party.
Before you get upset, let me explain. Yes, I know this is the most important moment of your life, you’ve been dreaming about it ever since you were a child, the moment you and the love of your life become husband and wife. I know.
And while it is the most important event of your life, the wedding is just a party. It’s not wise to get into a huge debt for it and spend the following 10 years struggling to pay for the wedding. It’s not worth getting into a huge fight with your partner, parents, or future in-laws, over wedding details.
Keep in mind that when the wedding ends, the marriage begins. And that’s what it’s all about. You may think the flowers are important, and that it’s all about the dress, oh, the dress! But it’s not. It’s all about what comes after the wedding. You don’t want to begin your marriage with a huge debt and not talking with mother-in-law over a foolish wedding detail.
2. Discuss and set your wedding budget with everyone involved in covering the costs.
If you’re paying for your wedding, set the budget with your future husband or wife. Make sure you can afford everything you want before you book an expensive rock band. Don’t spend more than you can afford. If your parents or someone else pays for it, discuss the costs with them.
Once you’ve set your budget, you can start spending. Don’t get into debt for this. In ten years, your wedding will be a lovely memory, and you really don’t want to still be paying for it. In ten years, you may want to buy a house, have kids, go on vacations, you know… you’ll have other plans and priorities.
3. The next thing after setting your budget is the list.
You must decide who’s invited, and you must do it now. There’s no such thing as “we’ll see, we’ll think about it”. My advice to you is don’t invite people you don’t want there. Have friends, family members, and coworkers you like. Don’t invite your boss just because “they might get upset if you don’t”. They probably won’t even care.
The wedding can be stressful and it will put a lot of pressure on you. You’ll deal with a lot of emotions, you’ll be tired, and worried. The last thing you need on your wedding day is being around people you can’t stand.
If you’re worried about your alcoholic uncle making a scene, don’t invite him. If you know the gossiper secretary at work will spend all the wedding talking about how chubby your hands are, don’t invite her. However, this must be discussed with your future husband or wife. Which takes us to the next point:
4. Remember: it takes two people to get married.
You need two people for this wedding your planning: You and your future spouse. Not just you. Also, not your Mom, his Mom, your sister, his Ex, his cousin, or your favorite aunt.
This event must make the two of you happy. So, if you make a decision, make sure you discuss it with your partner first. If you don’t want someone there, talk about it with your partner. Especially if it could affect them. Wedding decisions are to be taken together, and get used to it! From now on, that’s how it’s going to be!
5. You can’t make everyone happy.
Not everyone will like your wedding. No matter how hard you try, you can’t please everyone. Someone will hate the food, some will hate the music, and surely, someone will have a comment about the waiters being too slow.
Since you can’t please everyone, make sure the two people who matter are happy: the bride and the groom. You’re doing this for the two of you. And if anyone has a comment about anything, this is exactly what you should tell them.
6. You don’t have a lot of time.
Sure, there are 12 months until the wedding day, but that’s not a lot. And have in mind that in these months, you’ll also have to work, so you won’t just be planning a wedding.
So, get started now. Don’t postpone things. Some things can only be solved a month or two before the wedding, but most of them can be crossed off your list in the beginning. Book the venue, photographers, florists, music, and hairdresser from the start. Then, you’ll have plenty of time to find the dress and costume, and decide the details (what flowers, what cake, menu, playlist, etc).
7. When planning your wedding, choose trusted suppliers.
Things will be cheaper if you do them yourself, but they’ll also take a lot of work and time. And the result might not be satisfying. So, find suppliers you can trust and let them do the job. Don’t just choose the most expensive ones. Read reviews, ask around, talk to your friends who have already had their weddings.
8. Don’t ask everyone for their opinion.
We are different and we don’t all think alike. So many brides ask “what do you think I should choose?” on Facebook groups, then end up being overwhelmed by too many different opinions.
Choose one or two voices – your best friend, your Mom, your planner, or even better, your partner, and consult them.
9. Start wedding seating chart early.
It may sound crazy, but the wedding seating chart is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in your life. My husband and I had to get drunk and creative to finish it. It was terrible, and involving the mothers was a BAD idea.
Start it early, try to seat people with others the same age, preferably friends, and make sure you don’t place Exes or people who don’t get along at the same table. It’s hard, I know. Good luck!
10. Here’s what your wedding guests will care about:
1) The food.
2) The drinks.
3) The service.
4) The music.
5) The fun.
Here’s what your guests won’t care about:
1) The dress and the suit.
2) The shoes.
3) The flowers and the centerpieces.
4) The first dance.
5) The photos and the photographers.
6) The bride’s hair, makeup, and nails.
7) How much you’ve spent on planning your wedding. Just because it cost you a fortune, don’t expect the gifts to be as expensive.
The second part is for you only. You can choose the flowers, decorations, clothes you want because no one will remember them anyway. People will remember the fun, the food, and whether they woke up with a terrible hungover or not.
Don’t choose a complicated first dance choreography to impress your guests, because they won’t even remember it. If the dress doesn’t matter a lot to you, don’t invest a lot of money on it. Your guests won’t care.
My final wedding planning tip is: have fun. Your guests won’t remember it after a year. But you will, forever. So make it memorable.
And have a blessed, happy marriage. Because that’s what matters the most.
featured image credit: janethowardstudio.com
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