Let’s just call this the ultimate guide for remote meetings – the funny version. Enjoy, and feel free to add your ideas.
2020 has changed so many things for us, including the way we now hold work meetings. I’m still one of those people who prefer emails because why waste precious minutes of our lives asking each other “Hey, can you hear me?”, “Can everyone see me?”, or “Hello? Is everyone online?”.
Anyway, some people need to attend work meetings, whether they are live or remote. If I had to choose, I’d vote for the online gatherings, because you’re not required to wear pants and, after this year, mine no longer fit. Also, you can drink your vodka in peace, without anyone bothering you with questions or observations about you having a drinking problem.
Here’s the ultimate guide for remote meetings, with all the dos and don’ts, the tips and tricks, advice, and ideas on how to impress everyone at work. Enjoy, and make sure you add your own ideas in the comments section at the end of the article.
1. Blow on the wine in your coffee mug to convince the rest of the zoom meeting it is tea.
2. If you want all your coworkers to hate you, dress up nicely, put on make-up, and fix your hair, while everyone else looks like a degenerate.
3. Put vanilla pudding in a mayo jar and eat it with a spoon during your meeting.
4. Remember: If you show up naked to the Zoom meeting, you’ll no longer have to do Zoom meetings.
5. Always wear a T-shirt during audio meetings, because there’s always some idiot who wants to go video.
6. FYI, this what people are paying attention to during zoom meetings:
7. Not muting your mic is the new ‘reply all’.
8. Even if you stay silent through the whole zoom meeting, if you say “thanks everyone” at the end, it will seem like you contributed.
9. Remember: this is not a TV show, movie, or porn.
10. Before you make everyone join a Zoom meeting, always ask yourself: couldn’t this be just an email?
11. Before you stand up to get a drink, make sure you’re wearing pants.
12. You can hide your whisky in plain sight by putting a tea bag in your glass.
13. ALWAYS make sure your mic is muted before you fart, talk to your cat, or yell to your kids.
14. There’s awkward and then there’s “the zoom meeting is over and you and one other person can’t figure out how to leave the meeting” awkward.
15. Beware! There are things you can no longer blame on coworkers/classmates.
16. If there’s a teabag string coming out of your cup, no one will suspect you are, in fact, drinking vodka.
17. You can wear the same pajamas every day, as long as you top with a different scarf.
18. There’s some kind of special zoom meetings universe law: Nothing special happens all day, but the second you start your online meeting, your husband will moonwalk in his underpants, your kid will eat glue, and your cat will suddenly get diarrhea.
19. Great things happen when someone forgets they’re in a zoom meeting.
20. Most of your coworkers are standing there in their underpants.
If you enjoyed these funny zoom meeting facts, check out some more funny articles, awesome jokes, and hilarious stories here.