What do you think about this? Is it customary to bring a gift for the host in your culture?
My family was pretty serious about manners, too. And like this girl, I was taught to always bring a gift when invited to dinner at someone’s house. I never thought this could be considered a cultural thing. However, the girl’s boyfriend and his parents were deeply offended by receiving hostess gifts, and neither she nor I can understand why. As I am not an American either, I am asking you guys. Is it considered offensive in the USA to bring a hostess gift when invited to someone’s house for dinner?
This girl was confused when a gesture she thought was "good manners" was considered offensive by her boyfriend and his family.
She was raised to always bring a gift for the host when you're invited over for dinner. However, her boyfriend and his family were offended by her gestures, and accused her of "imposing her culture".
This girl and her boyfriend started a tradition with his parents. They have a good relationship, she loves his parents, and with the pandemic going on, they decided to get together for dinner every week. Considering that his mom would cook every time, she thought it would be appropriate to bring a small gift, like a bottle of wine or flowers. She thought this would be “good manners”, as this is what her parents had taught her. However, her boyfriend and his parents were offended and considered her gestures charity. Now, her boyfriend is demanding she apologize, and his parents have told her she is no longer welcome at their home. The woman is confused because she never intended to offend the people she loves. On the contrary, she thought she was being nice and polite. Now she’s asking the people on Reddit to weigh in and tell her if she was wrong.
Here's what people said:
Other Americans were also taught to never go to a dinner at someone's home empty handed:
People think this isn't a culture thing, and are siding with her.
Everyone on reddit thinks the boyfriend is wrong.
Many have suggested that he might be lying.
The woman posted an update to clear up some details:
What do you think?
I agree with the woman who posted the story. It’s not a cultural thing, unless that culture is “good manners”. Her boyfriend was wrong to get upset, and if his story is true, his parents were wrong to be offended, too. I hope they figure things out.