The Funny Christmas Zodiac is here! Let’s see what you’re getting for Christmas!
You are getting the BEEEEST gift EVER! Exactly what you’ve been wishing for! How could you not? I mean, you’ve been making everyone crazy with your big Christmas wish this year! So, you can chill. That thing you really really really want – you’re getting it. Stop talking about it.
You’re getting handmade gifts from everyone! I know you were expecting a new smart TV, but 2020 was a rough year. You’ll have to settle for ‘cute’ drawings made by the kids and a sweater Grandma knitted. But, there’s some good news, too! The love of your life will get you socks!
On Christmas Day you’ll be getting some exciting news! I know you would have preferred a new smartphone or at least a pair of gloves, but since your loved ones never know what to get you, you’ll just have to settle for their presence, love, and attention.
This year, for Christmas, you’re getting spoiled! All your loved ones will be there, family, friends, the love of your life. Maybe, try not to cry this year? You’ll ruin dinner for everyone, again! Also, please make sure you leave some cookies for the others. Eating the whole plate is just rude.
You’re getting exactly what you want for Christmas. Naturally, as you’re buying the gift yourself. Try to stay within the price range, this time! Your family and friends weren’t very happy last year when you charged each of them $100 for your gift.
This Christmas? You’re getting drunk! It’s time to party! You’ve already bought the wine for Christmas Eve, drank it all, and bought it all again! We all know you’ll drink it all once again. But it’s ok. It’s been a rough year, and you deserve to laugh a little, even if it’s because you’re a little tipsy.
This Christmas you’re getting fat. You’ll eat so many goodies, and cookies, there will be steak, and mashed potatoes, and gingerbread, and someone’s even bringing a cake! Don’t worry, you’ll lose those extra pounds by New Year’s Eve when you get to eat some more delicious treats!
You’re getting engaged. Finally! Well, unless you’re already married, because that would be awkward. This will become the best Christmas of your life because you’ll get a special gift that will change your life forever. And also a sweater.
This year on Christmas you’ll be getting the gift of love, friendship, and peace. You know what that means, right? No actual presents for you! Maybe next year!
This year on Christmas, your birthday is coming up and we haven’t got money for both. So, happy birthday to you, you’re getting lots of luck, so make sure you play the lottery! Santa will bring you some good news for the next year.
This year on Christmas, you’ll get a puppy. Yikes! I hope you’re ready because I’ve read that you must take them out a few times a day and it’s freezing outside!
This year on Christmas, you will receive wisdom and it will come shaped as two pieces of advice. Here they are: 1. Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2.Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.