The funny 2021 Horoscope is here! Let’s see where you’re traveling this year!
In 2021, you’re traveling to the beach, because you’re filthy rich. Since you’ve spent 2020 at home, you managed to save all the money you would have otherwise spent on shoes and haircuts. When you counted your money, surprise, surprise! You realized that you’re a millionaire and can afford a nice vacation on a quiet beach. You’ll spend two weeks by the ocean, drinking Pina Coladas all day.
In 2021, you’re going to the mountains, because you’re sick of people. You need to go somewhere where there are no political debates, no opinions, no easily offended people, no jerks, neighbors, or distant relatives who only call when they need something. You’re just going to spend a few weeks with the bears because they’re so much nicer than most of the people you know.
In 2021, you’re traveling to your living room. You’re very excited because you don’t have to worry about packing or the fact that your summer clothes no longer fit. Also, there’s a TV there, and you can take your entire family, too. For free!
In 2021, you’re traveling to a foreign country because you’ve already finished Netflix in yours. You’re just going to check-in at a nice hotel where they have Netflix, eat popcorn, and watch movies all day. Then, during the night, you’ll turn on the news and watch foreign channels, to make things interesting. It’s going to be a nice adventure!
In 2021, you’re going to jail because you’ve started a naked yoga class in your front yard. It’s going to be a nice adventure, you’ll get to meet new people, make friends, socialize, and get material for future family gathering stories.
In 2021, you’re going to the jungle, because you can’t stand the news anymore. Every time you turn on the TV, something stupid has happened. So, you just decide it will be a lot more relaxing to move into a treehouse in a jungle and hide from wild pumas all day.
In 2021, you’re going to be traveling a lot! You’ll go to the mall, grocery store, pharmacy, and one time you’ll even go crazy and see a movie at the cinema. But your favorite adventure in 2021 will be the one where you take the subway to buy a pet chicken.
In 2021, you’re taking a trip to Mars because you’re sick of this planet. Everything here annoys you: the music young people listen to nowadays, the news on TV, and the fact that they no longer make movies like they used to. You won a chance to go to Mars, and you’re so excited because you can’t wait to see some aliens! Also, people weigh a lot less on Mars, so you’ll be able to eat whatever you want. Finally!
In 2021, you’ll make several trips to the kitchen, where you’ll get a daily spa treatment with the steam coming out of your dishwasher. You’ll also have some short escapades to the bathroom where you’ll almost manage to take a long hot bath without being interrupted. However, your favorite part of 2021 will be taking out the trash, because you’re so outgoing.
In 2021, you’ll go on vacation to your Mom’s house because you’re tired of cooking, cleaning, and paying bills. Being an adult is exhausting, so this year you decide to take a vacation from adult life and be a teenager once again. Your vacation doesn’t last too long, because you now have a curfew and you’re not allowed to bring boys home.
In 2021, you will be visiting a lot of bars. After one year of drinking beer in your underwear, it’s finally time to get back out there. You’re very excited to be socializing with people who aren’t your kids, spouse, cat, or the pet pig you bought that night when you had tequila. Best vacation ever!
In 2021, you will go on a non-stop-party-road trip with your best friend. You will visit casinos, go clubbing, and party all night for two weeks. The two of you will become famous for being fun, and people will start a fan club. This experience will change your life, and you’ll leave everything behind to become a DJ.