Here are ten fun tips for the new year!
1. The first rule of 2021: We don't talk about 2020.
That a-hole belongs in the past. We won’t mention it or add it to our age. The year count will go 2018, 2019, 2021.
2. Don't fill in your 2021 planner just yet.
I say we wait until the 1st of February. Let’s just call January the free trial month.
3. Proceed with caution.
2021 looks like it’s going to be a better year. So far. However, the pandemic isn’t yet over. And a zombie apocalypse can still happen. And as far as we know, 2020 could’ve just been a trailer for 2021.
4. Don't make any reckless wishes.
We’ve all seen how that worked out last year! Wishes about not having to go to work, working from home, spending more time with family, or staying at home and just doing nothing are forbidden. Just wish for money like the rest of us. This applies to birthdays, shooting stars, and any other occasions when making wishes is customary.
5. Don't claim 2021 as your year.
In fact, don’t say anything that might upset 2021. Treat 2021 like it’s the most sensitive person you know. You don’t want this one speaking to your manager. Just, be extra careful, so you don’t spook it away. Just in case it’s a good one.
6. Don't make any sudden moves.
Please don’t make any sudden moves or loud noises. There’s a big chance 2021 will be a good year, and we don’t want to scare it away.
7. Don't treat it lightly, either.
Sure, we’re confident this will be a good year. But we’re not idiots! Be optimistic, but keep a silver cross closely just in case the vampire army decides to drop by.
8. Don't ever say things can't get worse.
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that things not only can get worse, but there’s a big chance they will.
9. Don't do anything stupid.
2020 looked a lot like the end of the world, but look! We’re still alive, and we might live through this year, too! So don’t get back together with your Ex, or cut your bangs, at least until we know more about 2021.
10. Watch out.
At the tiniest sign that things might go south, slowly, very slowly, go back inside your home. Then, very slowly, shut the door, get into your pajamas, and get back on that couch.